Sunday, 6 April 2014

Whereupon Mr. ME3V (Gerry Pugliese) can't take criticism.

Dear Mr. Gerry Pugliese,

Nowhere in my Analysis of ME3V -- an opinion of your enormous cybernetically enhanced flaming pile of fan fiction/general game re-design -- am I hyping myself up. I'm detailing how bad your ideas are. I do this for fun. In this case, the motivation to write such a piece was disgust. Actually, I can't go that far. Your work is so juvenile, so unintelligent, so ipso facto a regurgitated copy, in that you not only retained several of the problems in ME3, you actually made them worse. I could barely take it seriously as I skipped passed handfuls of pages just to stomach it, that someone -- anyone -- could not even think of the faults of something in order to fix that something, when doing a re-write.

I'm sorry, did you contact Kotaku to get attention on your glorified piece of fan-fiction-game-design, all for the purposes of landing a job, somewhere?
My blog post is second from the top. Hype!
How's that working out?

I'm sorry, how many editors actually looked at your work to make sure it was presentable to any reasonable Mass Effect fan? Or anyone who comprehends storytelling and/or game design? (Let's see...the Savant Class is tech, combat & biotic? With an amazing game breaking skill like "Obliterate:  Project a steady beam of energy that decimates any enemies in its path, even those behind cover.")

The Savant Class. Complete with two Omni-Blade claws...that shatter?
One would imagine, a writer, who makes fan fiction, and game design, would appreciate critical analysis, from another writer, who has made actual fan fiction/game design of the second in a series they themselves worked on*. "This is how I would've done it, because X." That doesn't make it right, good, or bad; it's just one interpretation. The same way I critiqued your work, and found X good, Y bad, and Z painfully, stupidly horrible.
*shameless self promotion.

The difference is:
1) I did it with others who were highly critical of each others' ideas.
2) We did it for fun.

So hey, Ger? I think you should get a job. Or get some of those friends who helped make this cacophony, ditch them creatively, and, go get some more and then do your own thing. Read some actual science fiction: Asimov, Banks, etc. Watch some Bab 5. Lay off the porn. Get someone who actually doesn't like your ideas. Then, see how the marketplace buys them.
Gerry also didn't take this seriously.
...or these.
That pretty much sums it up.

Because if you can't stand up to criticism, and disregard it because you think the critic is hyping up their own ego (?), then you have no business writing fan fiction, being an amateur game designer -- or any artist for that matter -- all for the hopes of getting a job. You spent the time to make it; I spent the time to read it. To summarize: it wasn't even a passably satisfactory re-write, if all you're doing is tweaking a pile of shit.

You didn't even fix the problems. You couldn't even get to the polishing stage.

I'm sorry, but it's very, very bad.

I gave you a gift, Ger. 'called my attention and intellect, on a topic I'm intimate with. It's better than most.


  1. Going by the introduction to Vindication, I figured he'd be rather indignant about conflicting opinions. Still, I expected a better rebuttal than "I'm going to respond to this by saying that I'm not going to dignify it with a response".

  2. I pray to god that you never catch wind of my fanfics, Smudboy. I don't think I could bear to see them torn to pierces by you! ^^

  3. Look on the bright side, you'd have to go pretty low to beat what Bioware got paid to write in Citadel or what Vindication does with the Khalisah romance ("Oh Shepard, I love it when you hit me. Let's role play that I need to be punished.").

    I can't speak for Smudboy, but I feel having an ounce of respect for the characters and the universe for something other than sex goes a long way.

  4. Well and some people really thought, the extended cut was the worst thing that could happen to the practical joke that is Mass Effect 3.
    Seems they were wrong.
    Perhaps we will see Mr. Me3V replace Mr. Walters in the future.... *shrugs*