Sunday, 29 July 2012

ME3: The Top 20 Questionable Things Part 2

Things that just keep me going "gar?"

I had a lot more to say, as usual, but I have a habit of rambling on, and had to cut this into 3 parts.  Symptomatic of the creator's dilemma, or the "editor's itch", I always want to go back and redo parts.  I have too many questions: why would the people that looked after Falere allow her to leave anytime?  Why couldn't Shepard have the option of saving Samara, and killing Falere?  Does The Code deal specifically with Ardat Yakshi's?  (If so, isn't that the perfect fit for an Ardat Yakshi mom?  But then, why would they not have rules against love?)  Why "should" Justicars visit monasteries filled with Ardat Yakshi's?  How could Sylvia Feketekuty give us Lair of the Shadow Broker, and the most meaningful, sentimental scene of the series -- Liara's Vigil -- yet give us...everything ME3 Samara?  (And apparently, the Geth Con-Tron-census rubbish?)  And why the hell can't any human biotic, Kaidan and Shepard especially, not figure out how to decrease their own mass, to "feather fall" like Samara and Falere do, when they're launching other people at various velocities and angles?

My job (I'm Canadian) has a weekly routine of getting everyone blitzed at work, but we make sure it doesn't impact our performance.  What is going on at Bioware?  When is ME: Deception ever going to get fixed and re-published?

Oh well.  Another month, another broken dream in ME3.

In other news, Google Adsense paid off, literally.  $102.60 CAD.  Don't ask me how that works.  One day it was at $6.49, and the next Google wants to hand me a triple digit.  So, thank you guys for checking out my vids, and putting up with those annoying advertisements.

I think I'll go get my guys at work hammered tomorrow.

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Yes, yes, ME3's Extended Cut.

Quite a few want me to do an analysis of the EC.  I'm sure I'll get to it.  But believe me, there are way more interesting things than having to sludge through more Bioware-anything these days.

Upon learning you can "reject" the Starchild's illogical, insane ramblings via casual gunshot to his hologram (?), I was suddenly reminded of this wonderful deviantart post about one fan's interpretation of how the conversation with the Starchild should have gone.

The fellow isn't some grand writer or master storyteller, but his Refusal ending is not only leagues ahead of what was given -- twice over I remind you -- it was simple.  It made sense.  Shepard is in character.  This is the problem no one understands about the writing team in the last 10 minutes; it's so painfully obvious on how to fix this thing without changing anything, and simply letting Shepard be Shepard (and not the static brick who goes wherever the plot takes him, or tells him to go.)

And that's all that the story demanded.  A Shepard to acknowledge the insanity.  To go "WTF?" to the complete insanity of the ending.  A Shepard that didn't betray himself, the audience or the galaxy.  Where he doesn't become a genocidal dictator, or become the enemy who will eventually succumb to absolute power, and most especially, doesn't jump into a giant glowing pile of nonsensical magical-flowing-shit to somehow infinite-energy-massless-explosion-nano-virus-gene-therapy every living cell in existence.  He's just a soldier doing the impossible, and these days, it seems that involves rejecting all the shit Bioware's now apparently peer-reviewed "fixed" ending gave.  (I can guarantee no one reviewed anything with so much as a care for logic or reason.)

Bioware had the opportunity to fix things.  Instead, they doubled down.  An expansion could have wiped the shit clean where it ended and then added with logic, reason, real drama, and resolution, through Shepard's rejection of it.  Like how he rejected Saren, TIM, Harbinger?

But boy, do I love the dichotomy this has brought to fans.  You can easily tell the brain dead, tasteless folk from the ones who are even more angry.  Little do the "emotionally satisfying" crowds not understand that in order to have emotion, you need thought.  Drama exists in several ways, but there has to be a number of things for it to work; cherry picking the narrative -- and turning off parts of your brain -- is obviously not effective storytelling.  Fans are looking for something to justify their attachment to this series, and now that the Indoctrination Theory is finally over with, they have to rationalize their passions without making themselves feel like idiots, by wearing their blinder-bias as a shield.  Instead, they really should be blaming the creators and their lies, lack of creativity, inane logic, and overall piss-poor work.

Face it: we're all idiots.  We've been had.  We've been lied to.  And we're still wasting our time on this bunk.  And it's not just the ending that's the problem.  It's the fans fueling this cacophony of rubbish; with this addition, you can't even call it mediocre anymore.

It was intentionally made by hacks.